Recently, I made a post about 12 things my most successful clients do in their final stages of SOF selection prep.

Some are fitness related. Others are lifestyle habits. But one key point was this: they identify and overcome their character flaws.

SOF selection isn’t just about being a physical stud. That’s merely the entry fee. Anyone can show up physically prepared. But those who show up with the strongest character perform head and shoulders above the rest—not just at selection, but throughout their careers and in everything they do.

Character flaws are inherent to all humans. Some have glaring, highly problematic flaws. Others’ defects are more subtle. A select few have strong character across the board and could crush selection just as they are.

But no one is perfect. And even if you’re already selection material character-wise, what’s the point of navigating life without seeking improvement? Chasing excellence makes for a more fulfilling existence. As a byproduct, you’re more likely to succeed in your chosen path.

It’s a common notion that character traits are innate. You’re born with certain genetics (nature) and raised with certain values and cultural norms (nurture). And yes, these do shape your character. But to think you can’t improve upon it later in life is flat out wrong.

Character traits consist of a series of skills. Like any skill, they can be refined with intentional, consistent practice. Viewing them this way is a non-negotiable mindset shift.

From there, it’s cultivating a high degree of agency. To strengthen your character, you must first accept you have the capacity to do so.

Those who lack agency believe life happens to them—that they’re not in the driver’s seat, just along for the ride. This often coincides with a victim mentality: an unwillingness to assume ownership and a readiness to blame other people or circumstances for their shortcomings.

High-agency people don’t have a victim card to play. They acknowledge their capacity to make things happen and assume ownership for everything that occurs in their lives—whether it’s their fault or not. High agency is a non-negotiable disposition for this endeavor.

So assuming you’re up for the challenge, you’ll need to accept two things.

First, you’re not stuck with what you’ve got. Your flaws can be improved with the right systems in place.

Second, you’re the agent in charge of your trajectory. Things don’t happen to you; you make things happen.

Most people won’t accept either of the above because doing so would invalidate their excuses for chronic mediocrity. But I’ll assume that if you’re reading this, you want to be as dissimilar to “most people” as possible.

Let’s learn how to improve character.

The Three-Step Process to Improving Character

Addressing your weaknesses and building character is a three-step process. None can be skipped.

1. Identify — where are you flawed?
   
   

2. Learn and strategize — how and why do these flaws hold me back; how can I resolve them?
   
   

3. Take action — daily practices to strengthen identified flaws.
   
   

These steps aren’t one-and-done. They’re iterative and cyclical. You’ll never run out of areas to improve. Even your strengths can be strengthened further. Those who achieve mastery are always seeking opportunities to grow.

Let’s break down each step.

Step 1: Identify

You can’t fix something if you’re unaware it’s broken or weak. Identifying your character deficiencies comes first.

The hard part? Most of us struggle to identify our own shortcomings. The humility required to admit we’re flawed isn’t easy to muster.

I learned this firsthand at the tail end of Delta Force Selection in 2018. Once the physical events culminate, the remaining candidates are sent to a final board.

No shit there I was—sitting in a chair in a tiny, stuffy room filled with Sergeants Major, commanders, cadre, and psychologists from The Unit ready to grill me.

For me, it was the most difficult part of selection.

Mind you, I’d already done what most consider the hard parts. Hell, 48 hours prior to this board I was 30-some odd miles into a 40-mile ruck that started just before midnight and didn’t end until the following afternoon. The days leading into it weren’t much better—a full week of land navigation with a 65-pound ruck in the hellacious West Virginia mountains. Each day had strict time standards ultimately met by just 15 of the original ~100 candidates.

And still, this board took the cake.

Why?

Because I failed to prepare.

Sure, I’d shown up physically prepared. I was a top performer in the physical events and finished each land nav day several hours before the cutoff times.

What I failed to prepare for had nothing to do with fitness.

I showed up wildly unprepared for the character beatdown I’d receive that day.

Among several moral-dilemma and integrity-based questions, I was asked one simple question that would forever change me:

“What are your character flaws?”

Seems easy enough, right? But I drew a blank. Out of desperation I spat out answers like:

“I’m stubborn.” (How original!)
“I’m a perfectionist.” (In this line of work, who isn’t?)
“I’m intolerant to under-achievers.” (A humble-brag—not a flaw.)

Needless to say, they weren’t having it. Everything you say in there must be intentional. There are no easy outs. If they don’t like an answer, they poke and prod until they do.

Long story short, I somehow made it through with an invite to OTC—one of the marquee moments of my life.

But I walked out of that board feeling just as defeated as I was elated.

“I made it. Hell yeah. But how could I not think of a single legitimate character flaw?”

The advice I was given on my way out was simple: ask someone close to me what my flaws were. Let’s just say my wife was more than happy to help (if you’re married, yours will be too).

Although I didn’t connect the dots at the time, that advice wasn’t just monumental for my SOF career progression. It was life-trajectory altering.

This simple exercise—and the work that followed—gave me more self-awareness, confidence, and clarity in every worthwhile endeavor I’ve taken since.

Bouncing back from failure (I was ultimately unsuccessful at OTC) and finishing my SOF career strong. Building relationships inside and outside the Army. Transitioning out after 12 years to go all in on Terminator Training Method (TTM). Developing TTM into a thriving business. Expanding relationships in the fitness industry. Giving my clients better service. Podcasting success. Nurturing my marriage.

And so on.

Because of the impact it’s had on me, I strongly encourage every candidate to do the same. Although you won’t be asked directly about your flaws in a board at SFAS, the process itself is designed to expose them. If your flaws are apparent to others when you’re comfortable, well-fed, and well-rested, how do you think they’ll present during Team Week?

Modest flaws aren’t so modest on day three, hour twenty-one when you’re cold, wet, hungry, smoked, and carrying a 400-pound apparatus across your ruck frame.

The takeaway is simple: humble yourself. Accept that you have flaws, and find someone close to you willing to give it to you straight. A friend, sibling, spouse, parent, coworker, boss, or even a subordinate can provide valuable insight. Even better, ask multiple people and look for overlap.

But not all feedback is created equal.

Most people operate with a “nice guy” persona—someone who tells you what you want to hear to avoid conflict.

What you want is a kind person.

A kind person wants what’s best for you. Because they’re not afraid of conflict or discomfort, they’ll give you a straight answer—even if it’s an utter gut punch. Nice people avoid friction. Kind people help you grow. The feedback of a single kind person is worth more than feedback from dozens of nice guys.

Use this as a relationship litmus test. If you only have nice guys in your life, that’s a strong sign your crew needs upgrading. Coincidentally, strengthening your character tends to attract others with strong character. To achieve big things, surrounding yourself with other winners isn’t just helpful—it’s non-negotiable

Step 2: Educate Yourself

Once you’re aware of your flaws, the next step is to inform yourself.

Approach this like a diagnostic. The more thorough the diagnosis, the clearer the solution becomes.

Questions to consider include:

• How and why does this flaw handicap my life?
  

• In which aspects of life will I be deficient if I don’t address it?
  

• How am I perceived by others because of this flaw?
  

• What sub-flaws stem from this one?
  

• What opportunities might fixing this flaw open up?
  

• How does this flaw present under stress?

• Most importantly: what actions can I take to improve it?

Think of it like your truck breaking down. You can’t just ignore the problem—you need the truck to get from A to B. But before fixing it, you need to diagnose the issue.

You might start by popping the hood, checking the manual, or searching YouTube. If that doesn’t work, you bring it to a mechanic who runs a full diagnostic and identifies the problem (Often along with a laundry list of other problems or soon-to-be problems).

Character flaws work the same way. The more thorough your diagnosis, the more clarity you’ll gain on resolving it.

Fortunately, we live in 2026. Resources exist for almost anything you want to learn: Books, podcasts, YouTube videos, articles, mentors, courses, coaches—even AI.

The problem isn’t lack of information. It's a lack of effort.

Books are some of the most powerful resources in existence. A good book condenses decades of the author’s experience into a $10–20 product. You can highlight it, revisit it, and build upon the ideas within it.

The money and time spent on books are minuscule compared to the potential return: better performance, stronger relationships, improved health, clearer thinking, higher earning potential…the list is virtually infinite. 

It’s no coincidence that successful people across almost every domain are avid readers.

But there’s a trap. I call it the “I now know more things” trap.

You read dozens of books and accumulate knowledge… but never implement anything. You check the block and move on. Extraordinary outcomes aren’t achieved by knowing more.

They’re achieved by doing more.

Which brings us to the final step.

Step 3: Go to Work

Throughout your learning process, you’ll encounter exercises, challenges, and thought experiments designed to help strengthen specific traits. Not all will apply to you. But some will.

Often, the exercises that look least appealing are the ones you need the most—because they force you into the exact discomfort you’ve been avoiding.

That’s the point. You won’t improve by staying in your comfort zone. You developed the flaw in the first place by avoiding discomfort in that area.

Yes, these situations can be brutal. That’s why most people never follow through with this step. But the bar for excellence is at an all-time low. Those who willingly seek discomfort as a tool for growth separate themselves quickly.

Over time, repeated exposure will make formerly terrifying situations feel natural. Your skills will improve, and your self-awareness will grow.

One helpful strategy is to implement some form of tracking system. For example, let’s say charisma is a weakness. Specific deficiencies might include:

• Wet noodle handshake
  
  

• Lack of eye contact
  
  

• Difficulty maintaining conversation
  
  

• Meekness when interacting with strangers
  
  

• Non-confident posture and body language
  
  

A simple weekly tracking system might look like this:

At the beginning of the week, set a target—such as starting a conversation with a stranger five different times (grocery store, coffee shop, retail store, etc.).

After each interaction, evaluate your performance by asking yourself:

• Three things I did well
  
  

• Three things I could improve next time
  
  

At the end of the week, zoom out and reflect:

• How well did I adhere to the plan?
  
  

• What improvements did I notice?
  
  

• What still feels uncomfortable?
  
  

• What used to be uncomfortable but now feels natural?
  
  

Then repeat the process.

Over time, situations that once intimidated you will become second nature. More importantly, you’ll reinforce a powerful realization: your shortcomings are not permanent. With deliberate effort and the right systems, they can be improved.

Final Thoughts

This process takes work. It isn’t easy. Going through the motions won’t cut it. Being fully invested in your development is non-negotiable. But when you’re a high achiever, that’s exactly what makes life fulfilling. 

Don’t expect to eliminate every flaw you possess. Turning every weakness into a strength is unrealistic. Instead, focus on making glaring flaws less glaring and strong traits even stronger.

Because the flaws you consider minor now won’t be so minor when shit gets real at selection.

Winners understand this—and that’s why they keep winning.